I think it's finally time to admit it. I'm not sure I'm a runner anymore. I barely ran 30 miles in January, and I'm pretty sure that is the worst lowest mileage month I've run since....I can remember. I had a super enjoyable 7 mile run two weekends ago, and I thought that might have sparked my enjoyment of running again, and it did, for like a week.
I even bought two new pairs of sneakers last week, which were much needed anyway. I was hoping that new, pretty sneakers would excite me. And, in the voice of Triumph the insult comic dog, they are exciting....for me to look at....
I've been going to the gym, doing yoga, and keeping myself active, but none of it compares with the feeling of running 10 miles on a whim. I do miss the feeling of freedom that long runs give me, but at the same time, I have no motivation to lace up for it. You must all be thinking, "Just set a goal! That will help you get motivated!" And I do have running goals, but I just don't care. I mean, why? What's the point?
It's a weird feeling to have been so attached to running for years, and then just have the desire slowly slide away. I can't tell if it's me, or running, who broke up with who first. I can't tell if it's working two jobs, being tired, or being stressed/depressed that's made me push running to the back burner. Worst of all, I feel like I've isolated myself from all my running friends.
It makes me stop and ask the question,
If I'm not a runner, then what am I?
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
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Whoa. It's like I could have written this.
ReplyDeleteExcept I think I may have only run TWENTY miles in January.
Chiming in to say that I feel the same way. I ran a mere 15 miles in January, then went for a pleasant 4-mile trot last weekend and thought I might feel like getting back into a schedule...but, meh.
ReplyDeleteTara, I'm glad we're on the same team :).
ReplyDeleteTracy, maybe that's why we've been seeing each other more lately? :p Also, don't try and make me look like a mon-slacker!!
ReplyDeleteThis isn't your job, or your identity. You aren't beholden to running, and it doesn't make you who you are. Just do what makes you happy, and focus on the long game. If you are meant to rediscover running ng, it will happen, if not, that's fine too. This message has been brought to you by the guy who ran zero marathons in 2012 and hasn't run a step since October 2012.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand. Completely. I was excited about running for 5 seconds again last week. I even wrote a blog post about it. And then didn't write after that. It's not that I don't want to run, I think I just don't want to have to "train" to run. Does that make sense?
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